told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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