Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We have so much sex to catch up on
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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