So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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