gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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