Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
