sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Randomize
