It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So vagazzling was a success
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
