she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize