After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
