kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
