I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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