i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
