carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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