I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize