I feel like abortions should bother me more
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
