do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
