I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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