Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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