Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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