I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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