Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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