i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
