Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize