I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
