no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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