I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
