you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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