i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
