Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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