my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
