can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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