Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
