He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
