guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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