oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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