super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
