I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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