he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
