I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
