You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
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I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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