i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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