my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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