there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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