But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
