yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The air was thick with penises
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
