how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
