if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have post one night stand depression
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
