C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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