We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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