i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
