im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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