We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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