Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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