Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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