look no pants
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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