OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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