Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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